Why did I choose research? This is probably the most frequent question I'm asked. It often comes from a place of skepticism regarding a field that doesn’t bring in much money -researchers, in fact, need money to support their work- others ask out of fear that I'll suffer and become crazy, citing stories of scientists and researchers who went mad later in life -some even warned me about delving too deep and becoming an atheist!- Honestly, the question, "Why research?" is one I even ask myself! Why did I choose it over all other fields, despite knowing the struggles and the long years I’d spend as a university student.
The truth is, I have one reason, though I don’t know if it will convince you or even me. But before diving into the answer, let me tell you about myself from the beginning, to make my reason somewhat logical and convincing.
When I moved from middle school to high school, I had one job at that time: I had to find my interests and develop them before entering university. During that period, I learned many things and delved into various fields. I entered a phase I could call "The Search for Lost Interests". I studied programming, the internet of things, and marketing. I learned English and Turkish and then moved on to reading English literature. I even took advanced courses in physics and chemistry, though I didn’t understand 85% of the content. Still, I was genuinely enjoying this journey of self-discovery.
I didn’t stop there. I learned design and editing and attended numerous seminars and courses. In short, that period was one of continuous learning across many subjects, even if I didn’t fully understand them. My desire was to know what I wanted for my future. This is why I believe that my chosen field of study today, was not a complete coincidence, it stemmed from this long experience, and if it was an coincidence, it is the kind that happens to those who are prepared for it, and I had been waiting for it for years, actually this is a law of life I believe in.
My choice of research as a future path came after all these countless experiments where I hadn't found what I was looking for. That is, until I met a Physics teacher who was like a guiding light on this path (How I wish to meet him again). I distinctly remember going to him to ask about light polarization in Physics, and why it ruined my home experiment to do a "black light," burning out the bulb! When I asked, he was incredibly enthusiastic to answer, and I understood the reason for my failed experiment. After that, it became my habit to go to him after every class to ask him about many things in Physics, and he answered my questions tirelessly. One day, he gave me a somewhat strange assignment: "Watch a science fiction movie, and tomorrow we'll discuss the scientific issues in it together".
I watched, noted, and wrote down my questions. I loved it. But unfortunately, our discussions never took place because the school administration assigned him extra classes during his free time. Maybe one day we’ll meet again, have our discussion, and he’ll answer my questions. Since that time, I still feel mad at the school administration for ruining the discussion before it even began.
Alright, let's get back to the topic. Actually, after this whole journey, you're still asking why research!
I’m still searching for the reason, just like you. So, to be honest, my unconvincing reason comes down to the core of research: many questions and a desire to seek their answers. From the beginning, my head has been full of questions -perhaps that even explains its size- and I can’t rest until I find the answers. In other words, research is the search for truth, and I love to find it. I’ve been searching since the start, from uncovering the truth about my own interests to the unending questions in physics and science. In truth, this is our very human nature: to ask and to search. Who are we? Are we alone? What is the electron? And why does it behave the way it does?
So.. (maybe) I chose research simply because I am acting according to my human nature!
Maybe!